Hilabulous

I am now coining the term "hilabulous," meaning hilarious and fabulous. For example, the music video for "If I Had You" by Adam Lambert. Many entertaining things have that nebulous novelty quality about them that I think can be defined under this new word. The Twilight Saga: hilabulous. Drag queens: hilabulous. You get the point.

What Makes People Funny?

The need to pursue comedy as a hobby has finally been birthed. It's been gestating for a while, and my water finally broke when I heard of a friend's recent interest in comedy writing. She's been going about it much more pragmatically than I would have done, which is probably the better way - to actually study the art of jokes. I've proposed a union, the ends being something along the lines of dual stand-up at open mic night. Having grown up craving attention, and really thriving within my few successful one-liners, I can mark off another item on my proverbial bucket list if this succeeds in any way.

Proposing this idea to my friend and also to myself makes me feel even more chaotic than ever. Just this morning I was bound and determined to return to school for a postbac in graphic design. Lack of focus has always been my downfall. Literally and figuratively, I need some effing corrective lenses up in this bitch.

You Y-Y-Y-Y-Y You

I've made the executive decision to make this blog exclusively about Adam Lambert. Not this post. The ENTIRE BLOG. I mean come on. Okay so I don't watch America's Next Top Model, and okay so I've only seen maybe three videos that feature him. But I am in. love. I want to pinch his fucking cheeks off. He's kindof a little Ra from the 1994 Stargate, and maybe that's why I love him so much.

Dog Days of Horror

This. This is what makes the internet such a wonderful place.

Reading Through Customer Comments

If you're going to visit my portion of the museum where we announce several times that sound will not be tolerated and that you will be escorted out, don't leave complaints about how you and your screaming baby were asked to leave.

If you're going to visit my portion of the museum where we announce several times that the nighttime laser shows are very loud and that we provide ear plugs for those who want or need them, don't leave complaints about how you and your husband plugged your ears for a few minutes and then were forced to leave.

For. Reals. People.

No Brows About It

What happened in my early childhood that made me completely incompetent at doing girly things?? Or even taking a desired look, and then being able to replicate it..? I feel like all my efforts are being spent covering up all the cosmetic blunders I've made.

Every time I attempt to put on makeup, it's like I'm a little girl who's gotten ahold of her mom's lipstick - smearing it around like a dejected, drug addled, clown.

Whenever I try and do minor adjustments, like trim bangs or pluck my eyebrows, it's always a "run-in with the scissors." This, my friends, is how I ended up bald once.

Just now I tried to pluck my eyebrows into some desirable shape, as I've come to realize just about everyone does SOMETHING appealing with their brow hairs. ...Where the peak of my right brow should be, there's now a bald patch. And for whatever reason I couldn't get the two to match each other, in whatever awful state - so I look like I've taken a beating .... from a pair of tweezers. I grabbed some too-dark eyebrow/eye liner and took a picture on photobooth to see if it could pass...

Here it doesn't look too bad, but we can chalk that up to poor image quality and resulting lack of any substantial detail. I guess that means I can pretend on the internet. Story of my life!

I should probably have someone teach me these girl things, or invest in a salon visit.

Fuck.

New Video

I threw this video together in response to a friend's Facebook status. He was complaining about movies that flash the little olive branch logos to try and appear legitimate, when they aren't. He was specifically referencing this.

I'm actually a little bit proud of the weird "tribal" music that came out of me recording noises and layering them. Who'da thunk??